1. I love dogs
  2. But not this dog
    This is Penelope.
  3. This dog is a sweetheart and I am not here to dispute that.
  4. My coworker dumped her on me for the weekend last minute, so I was basically forced to agree to this
  5. I can't have dogs in my apartment, let alone 120 lb English mastiffs
  6. This dog is the size of a small child
  7. She was too tired out to walk more than 2.27 miles at once
    I had to literally drag her the last half mile, and the 18 minute mile is going to reek havoc on my average 😑
  8. And she is juuuust tall enough to stick her entire head on the counter as I made dinner
    *forever unclean*
  9. She refuses to sleep in her crate, like usual.
    The lonely crate.
  10. She is mad at me for not letting her into my bed.
    My allergies are okay if I don't touch her, plus she is literally filthy and all my bedding is white.
  11. This little brat is literally chewing my shoe in retaliation.
    I retrieved it shortly after I took this, no need to fret.
  12. I'm having a wild Friday night guys