MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS FROM THE GRAMMAR SCHOOL NEXT TO MY OFFICE

I can hear the morning announcements from my desk every morning. These were today's:
  1. Reminder that all after school activities were cancelled for the rest of the year, due to the behavior of the boys basketball team after the game last night
  2. An announcement for the coaches to remove the boys who behaved poorly last night from the team
  3. (Audible screams of young children)
  4. Congratulations to the cheerleaders for behaving well and being good examples
  5. Reminder that cheesecakes are to be picked up after school from 3-6
    How tf do I get in on this
  6. Playing of the Whitney Houston version of the national anthem