ONE SIDED CONVERSATIONS I'VE HAD WITH MY NEIGHBORS TODAY

  1. It's a beautiful day, so the pups and I are sitting outside. They're chilling, I'm reading
  2. Or *trying* to read, since my neighbors (and anyone who walks by) feels the need to interrupt me and have a conversation that neither of us are interested in
  3. I just want to read my book 🙃
  4. Neighbor 1: how he broke his foot last night at jui-jitsu, but how it felt good?
    Side note, I've never had a conversation with him that didn't involve jui-jitsu - is it like cross fit? Like you have to talk about it?
  5. Stranger 1: asked me about the dogs. I answered his questions, then he tried to talk about the weather but couldn't continue the conversation past "so it's nice out today"
  6. Neighbor 2: asked me if I've ever been to Michigan. No context given.
  7. Neighbor 3: told me he was going running, but "would rather be inside sleeping, because it's so nice out"
  8. Stranger 2: asked if I knew about the jui-jitsu sign on my front yard. I directed him towards neighbor 1's door, but he seemed uninterested in knocking.
  9. Neighbor 4: lit a blunt, waved, and said "good evening." It's 2pm
  10. Neighbor 5: asked if she could pet the dogs, then didn't
  11. Neighbor 2: came back outside with the guise of petting the dogs and then trapped me in a 40 minute conversation about LSU football and how I should "always be aware of people's agendas in bars so I'm not raped"
  12. I JUST WANT TO READ MY BOOK