REASONS WHY MY CAB DRIVER WAS THE WORST

  1. Aggressively stood in directly in front of me and asked if I needed a cab
    This should have been warning sign 1
  2. Joked about how many shoes must be in my bag
    Did not think it was funny when I said it had bricks in it (just one, for work related purposes, but still)
  3. He had a glass eye
    I wasn't judging him on his looks, but I sort of want my cab driver to have two eyes, ya know?
  4. The cab had 15 too many air fresheners
    I'm super sensitive to perfumes, so 1 is usually more than fine with me, but this was far far too much
  5. Immediately began the small talk
    Why won't you let me just slum it on tinder in peace!!!
  6. "How was your flight?"
    Has anyone ever had a good flight? Serious question.
  7. "Have you been to Boston before?"
    I give in a little and say yes, for both vacation and work, etc.
  8. Asks me if I've seen the town
    I say yes, then try to decide if I should mention I have met Ben affleck. I decide not to, because I want to discourage small talk and a story about how I have Ben a tour about the history of 19th century steam locomotives will not discourage anything
  9. "Where are you from"
    I consider saying Louisiana or Georgia, but I tell the truth and say nj.
  10. He compares the tunnel we're in to the Holland Tunnel
    Me: "in the sense that they may collapse on us?" Him: "no the tile looks the same"
  11. He tells me to "hold my breath in the tunnel"
  12. I tell him, "no, I'd rather not pass out, thanks"
  13. He says "wouldn't be the worst thing" and winks in the rear view mirror
  14. I asked to be let out and got an uber.
  15. The uber driver did not even attempt small talk and I'm grateful for that.