SOME OF MY BEST LOOKS (A PHOTO SERIES)

A reflection of where it all went wrong
  1. Age .5
    A+++ look for baby me, says "I don't give a fuck" without trying too hard
  2. Age 3
    Another fab coordinated (if significantly waspier) hat and dress combo by my mother
  3. Age 3
    My mom maintains this is me, but I don't think it is. Anyway, here's a picture of my dad comparing the size of his fish to one of this children that he had just woken up.
  4. Age 4
    Velvet kitten shirt with matching plaid skirt? It certainly does sound like 1997 (kudos to my parents for being ~above patriarchy~ by getting their three daughters a workbench for Christmas)
  5. Age 6
    And all about protecting the fucking elefun, you monsters.
  6. Age 8
    This picture of me from my "first holy communion" (in quotes for good reason) pretty much sums up my relationship with the Catholic Church. Also, who the FUCK lets their kid wear a god dammed tiara on their communion??
  7. Age 12
    This is my actual best look. I thought this school picture came out "AMAZING" and couldn't figure out why my mom thought it was so funny. But let's break this down: waxed hair? ✔️ Aeropostale monkey shirt? ✔️ chandelier earrings? ✔️ approx. 7.3 lbs of lip gloss? ✔️ ... Clearly, the 6th grade was a happening time for me.
  8. Age 14
    I lead town wide Girl Scout camping in the 8th grade. If that wasn't damaging enough to my reputation, I wore outfits like this while doing it.
  9. Age 16
    We were actually sober for this? Other than that I don't know exactly what the reasoning behind this was, but I do know I look completely ridiculous
  10. Age 17
    I'm drunk in a beach house basement, cuddling with some baked lays (probably BBQ). This was definitely post declaring our friend nikki (who was there) had an alter ego and needed to be known forevermore as "Kin". The name of this Facebook album is "The Birth of Kin: A Drama".
  11. Age 17
    A spent many a night passed out on the floors of the various bathrooms in the Sude household, but none quite as infamous as the night of kinfest (the alter-ego threw the party). This was me, post 22 shots, smoking an 1/8, and throwing up a minimum of 15 times. I definitely should have gone to the hospital, but I walked it off the next day in a way that only teenagers can do.
  12. Age 18
    This tasted good but I was also 12 shots of tequila deep, on my 48th hour of being drunk, and had burnt off most of my taste buds.
  13. Age 19
    My roommate took this when I came home from 47 hours straight in the architecture studio. Instead of sleeping, I drank half a bag of Franzia and was drunk in approximately 8 minutes. She called it "rock bottom," I called it a Tuesday.
  14. Age 20
    Two days before my 21st birthday, I find myself in Macau, the "Vegas of Asia". I found out that two weeks before, they raised the age limit in the casinos to 21. My friends snuck me in (and by snuck I mean we just walked into the casino) but I was too nervous to put a single penny into the slot machine. I would celebrate my 21st in Hong Kong and throw up on the floor of a bar, on my shoes, and on my professor (all separate occasions).
  15. Age 20
    My fake id was taken away this day (I tried to get into a bar, at noon, on a Monday, with my grandma. No one deserves that). Then the line for the bathroom was too long and I peed in a bush on the boardwalk. Kudos to Kathleen for capturing this moment for everyone on listapp to see.
  16. Age 21
    This accurately sums up junior year of college: wine drunk, in my kitchen, grating more cheese into my Mac and cheese
  17. Age 21
    This is me passed out during a 4th of July party because I drank too much whiskey the night before at a bar called "Brady's At the Station". This is why you force yourself to like beer kids.
  18. Age 21
    This picture makes it look like I have it together - college senior at her first national conference!! In reality, I was swiping drink tickets from anyone who offered them, chugging straight makers like it was my job or something, letting my professor pay my way into a drag show, and ending the night singing "dance with somebody" in a gay bar at 3am on a Tuesday. I definitely did not have it all together.
  19. Age 22
    Pretending to be an adult!!!!!