THINGS I JUSTIFY BY SAYING "I GREW UP OUTSIDE OF NYC"

  1. Any time I make a questionable choice while operating a vehicle
    "I don't give a shit that I just ran over a curb, I have jersey plates so it's fine" - actual thing that has come out of my mouth
  2. My resting bitch face
    "Is the reason you always look so mad because you're from nj?" - actual thing my coworker's daughter has asked me
  3. Why, as someone who was raised Catholic, I can sometimes relate to Jewish culture
    While in the south, I honestly spend 10~15 minutes explaining what I mean when I say "jap"
  4. The speed at which I walk
    In reality, it's because I'm tall and therefore have longer legs that can cover more distance.
  5. Why my life isn't like Jersey Shore
    North Jersey vs South Jersey is a tale as old as time
  6. Why I refuse to eat pizza, bagels, and tap water anywhere other else in the country
    This is more for self preservation than anything else
  7. Why I curse so fucking much
    It started when I accidentally said "what the hell" in the third grade and I haven't looked back since.
  8. Why I don't have an accent
    The only words I saw weird are coffee, dog, and lawn, and also no one has the accent that you think of when you think of nj... Just so you know
  9. The fact that I was raised in New Jersey
    "You can see the skyline from one specifically elevated section of town and my dad works there so it's basically just like I'm from the city"