THINGS MY BOSS HAS SAID TO ME IN THE PAST WEEK

  1. "Unconstructed gym shorts"
    Seriously, 7 times in 4 minutes. The insides of my mouth bled because I was biting them to keep from laughing.
  2. "I was ridden hard and put away wet"
    Said after an 11 am conference call and I almost vomited after.
  3. *singing* "I need a Valium!!" *pops into my cube* "I'm only joking, I don't take Valium, I take Zoloft."
    She then trapped me in a ten minute conversation about the things her anti depressants were not helping with.
  4. "The doors are locked again because my ex-husband bought another rifle"
    Filed under things that make me rethink accepting a longer contract
  5. "Show her the thing you showed me! Yes, the button that takes a picture of your screen!!"
    Previously, she would take a picture of her screen with her phone, email it to herself, then forward it to me.