THOUGHTS IN THE VESTIBULE OF A TRAIN THAT IS STUCK UNDER THE HUDSON RIVER

  1. Fuck me I picked the wrong part of the train to stand in today
  2. Why is this train so crowded on a Sunday morning anyway
  3. I'm going to be pissed if I miss my train and have to take the 7
  4. Fuck you chris Christie and Andrew cuomo for your inadequate funding of public transportation
  5. This will be the day that these tunnels finally bite the dust and collapse
  6. And hopefully since I'm fully exposed to outside air I'll be the first to go
  7. Although I'd be extremely helpful in an emergency situation because I have a cool head and can manage the situation
  8. We moved an inch. Progress
  9. (I turn off my music but keep my headphones in to eavesdrop) apparently that was an inch backwards
  10. I'm reading the safety information on the train for literally the first time in my life because my face happens to be six inches from it
  11. I'll be the best prepared dead person when this tunnel collapses
  12. Oh we're moving now. Chill.