WHAT TO DO AS YOUR FLIGHT OUT OF LAGUARDIA IS DELAYED FOR THE THIRD TIME

  1. Cry, a lot
  2. Die
  3. Update: I have been delayed a fourth time, so now it's time to drink even more than I already have
  4. Because we all know the truest form of depression is spending $70 on airport alcohol
  5. Update 2: delayed a 5th time, and I have been at the airport for long enough to watch two separate football games
  6. Also long enough to have to stay overnight in Dallas, so basically fuck American Airlines
  7. Update 3:Out of distress, I bought myself auntie Anne's, sour gummy worms, a bottle of gin from the duty free store, a bottle of tonic, and the newish issue of glamour.
    And now I hope that I'm sober enough to get on the plane.
  8. Update 4: I was sober enough to get on the plane, but I am very pissed at American because they wouldn't even give me triple miles for their insane amount of fuckery today
    (This is the definition of first world problems but I digress)
  9. Things I would like American To pay for (in theory):
    1. My data overages from having to sit in the airport for 7 hours 2. The hotel I will have to stay in tonight 3. The extra meal I had to eat while in the airport 4. The bottle of gin I had to buy to get through this emotional distress 5. The face value of the hours of comp time I will have to use tomorrow morning