This is usually what happens when I mention I live in rural Lousiana "for work":
  1. Them: so where do you work?
  2. Me: I work for the park service in cultural resources
    (I immediately realize that no one who works outside of the park service knows what the fuck "the park service" means, and I try to correct it to "the national park service" without sounding pretentious as fuck. I then will realize they also probably don't know what cultural resources are, but I let that slide because I don't know what "media manager" or "wealth analyst" really is either.
  3. Them: oh cool, so you're outside all day in a national park, that's really cool!
  4. Me: well, actually, I actually work in an office building, in a cubicle, at a desk. So just a little different *tries to laugh awkwardly*
    (that's what I meant when I said cultural resources but again, no one knows what the fuck I meant by that)
  5. Them: oh, so you don't have to wear that outfit?
  6. Me: nope, but I am really upset about the lack of the hat
    (I really am upset about this, the hats are cool as fuck)
  7. Them: so you don't have to carry a gun?
    (This question has only ever been asked by someone from Louisiana, and they are always disappointed when I give them my answer)
  8. Me: no, definitely not.
    (Only the guys from the forest service or fish and wildlife have guns and that's the dept of agriculture, not the dept of the interior so it looks like someone needs to go back to their government class)
  9. Them: so then what do you do?
  10. Me: *takes deep breath* well I work for the national center for preservation, technology, and training (we call it Ncptt, and we're all aware it's a terrible acronym) which is a branch of the national park service. I work in the historic landscapes department and I'm building and publishing an elearning program for historic landscape maintenance.
    (There is literally no easier way to explain this, much to my chagrin)
  11. Them: wait what does that mean?
  12. Me: honestly, even I don't really know.
  13. (END SCENE.)