THOUGHTS I HAD EATING ALONE IN RED ROBIN

  1. this waiter, Anthony, has a nice butt
  2. please, can I never hear this shoegaze rendition of Fleetwood Mac's "Gypsy" ever again?
    I forgave this atrocity against my senses because they played an REM song off of Dead Letter Office immediately after
  3. my burger arrived 15 minutes before my fries
    this Anthony character may be stoned? I'm slightly annoyed because now I'm determined to scarf these fries in order to get second, free basket. I would have only eaten the one, but now I'm getting my MONEYS WORTH, dammit.
  4. I know even though Anthony is baked and slow and was VERY blasé, I will still give him a 40% tip because I get it
  5. I would probably come to work stoned, too, if this were my job
    it's only fair
  6. this gluten free bun is not very good but at least I get to eat a burger for once
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  7. I like this season salt.
    I considered stealing it
  8. wow, Anthony. all I want is a to go box!!
    IT'S BEEN FIFTEEN MINUTES SINCE YOU BROUGHT THE CHECK! I GIVE UP!
  9. I can't believe I'm wrapping fries in the wax paper they're served on, and stuffing them into my bag like some sort of homeless
  10. ...still getting 40%, Anthony. you're the worst.
  11. I WISH I HAD TAKEN THE GODDAMN SALT NOW
    I no longer think your butt looks good, Anthony.