1. Designed the remotes for Apple TVs
    Tested repeatedly to maximize slipping-through-couch-cushions-capability. YOURE A MONSTER!
  2. Made fun of me for eating Activia yogurt at school this morning
    Delicious, poop-causing, AND now in the Greek variety??? You should be praising me!!!!
  3. Made crop tops cool
    Great, now I gotta wear this shit.
  4. Ate all the milk chocolate kisses out of the household candy bowl
    Seriously, you asshole?
  5. Smashed my Halloween 2007 jack-o-lantern
    My nose design was original and could have been revolutionary in the art of pumpkin carving if my masterpiece had not been MURDERED