IF IN THE FUTURE MY BROTHER AND I DONT LOVE EACH OTHER, HERE'S WHY

  1. He doesn't know how to shut a freezer.
    I don't want twice refrozen raspberries in my smoothie
  2. I told my mom that he had his first kiss and specified the recipient of said kiss.
    Sounds funny but he's actually REALLY mad about this
  3. He doesn't flush when he pees sometimes
    Accident or just to be spiteful?
  4. He gets frustrated when he references something called 2k14 and I don't know what he's talking about
    Was 2014 just a really good year for him???
  5. There's a lot of resentment brewing between us over stolen clothing
    Sorry your JCrew flannel looks incredible with moto boots???
  6. Apparently it's embarrassing when I try to hang out with and relate to his friends
  7. We love each other so much and it's just not sustainable