MONTANA'S SEASONS, RANKED

  1. 1.
    Summer
    Mid-July to mid-August is usually snow free but that's NOT a guarantee. Green, endless mountains. Street concerts. Pristine rivers. An unconditionally loving golden retriever to run alongside me in the evenings.
  2. 2.
    That one day in mid-December
    Suddenly, you live in the pages of a National Geographic magazine. Snow blurs buildings' harsh edges and the land's blemishes. The blanket of black cashmere that's pulled over this mountainous landscape becomes a little less dark and suffocating. Seasonal perfection.
  3. 3.
    Bipolar Early Winter
    What I imagine dating a boy who writes slam poetry but also rides motorcycles is like. Confusing and frustrating but also unpredictable and exciting. Temperature can fall from 90 degrees to negative 5 degrees in a matter of hours.
  4. 4.
    Winter Part 2
    Sleet. Hurricane force winds (3rd windiest place in the continental US). Can't go ice-skating on the lagoon because of occasional 60 degree days--you will fall through and die.
  5. 5.
    Spriwinterummer
    Everything from May to mid July. Nobody knows. There's new flowers but they're usually killed with a rando June snow shower. Sometimes it's spring, sometimes spring doesn't show up and winter decides to sub in.
  6. 6.
    Winter Part 4
    Mid-Feb to late April. There's a lot of dirt everywhere during this time. Dirt that freezes to your shoes and jeans. Grossness. Icky. But hey! St. Patty's day!
  7. 7.
    Winter Part 3
    Late December to Mid February. The cold is a now a very moist cold that seeps through your clothing and into your bones. Everybody has SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and wants to kill one other.