THINGS THAT HAVE HELPED ME SURVIVE THE COLLEGE APPLICATION PROCESS

The last few months have been the most stressful of my entire life. Surprisingly, though, I've managed to maintain my sanity throughout them. On Friday, I'll submit my first application to my top school. With my essays written, recommendations submitted, and Common App password set to something I'll actually remember come Friday night, I'm ready.
  1. Guilt
    I own a nice MacBook that my dad bought for me when I entered high school. It's worth a lot of money. I'd feel guilty smashing it/setting it on fire/pouring coffee all over it and throwing it out the window.
  2. Compound words
    THIS IS A BIG ONE! You can't even imagine how many words in the English language can be combined into one--a big "fuck you" to word count limits.
  3. Stomach flu
    Who can obsessively google acceptance rates while vomiting?? No one!
  4. My parents
    No, I'll probably not be accepted to every school I apply to, but it's still nice to hear my mom tell me that I will be. S/O @maggiemcguane
  5. The first person I talked with seriously about college. He's given me in-depth, thoughtful descriptions of so many schools, provided me with just the right amount of confidence, and, despite being probably the busiest person in the world, he's written my supplemental recommendation---which I'm sure will stun even the grumpiest of admissions officers.