REASONS TO STILL USE EMAIL

  1. You haven't found that perfect penis pump yet.
  2. A real life Nigerian prince likes corresponding with you and wants to send you money and you're an idiot.
  3. Your parents still email you from their AOL account.
  4. You get a panic attack when texting people who stop after you see their "typing" bubble.
  5. You like ;) and not 😉