SONGS MY COLLEGE DINING HALL HAS PLAYED IN THE LAST THIRTY MINUTES

Surpassing its own mediocrity
  1. "Lips of an Angel," Hinder
    Knockoff Nickelback/Creed, all the rage when I was 10.
  2. "Californication," RHCP
    Surprisingly does not induce feelings of homesickness while trying to consume food.
  3. Something by Nickelback
    Of course.
  4. "Closing Time," Semisonic
    6:15 p.m., people.
  5. An ad
    Spring for the premium subscription, Aramark.