Cesarean Section Procedure Steps -- if You're the Patient

Inspired by @TT 's list this is the mommy POV. I've had an emergency C with our first son, Murray (now 9) and planned C with our twins Oscar and Ruby (just turned 6).
  1. If it's an emergency C-section don't freak out about your birth plan not going as you'd hoped. Instead, take a deep breath you'll meet your baby within 5-7 minutes!
  2. Tell your spouse or significant other not to freak out. Hold your hand! They'll have to put on a surgical outfit. Get him/her to ask to keep it so you can play doctor a few months later when you may or may not want to have sex again.
  3. Ask questions
    If you're worried about something ask your doctor. They know things.
  4. What's that playing? Jimmy Buffet?
    You have patient rights! Including not having to listen to the grownup version of the Wiggles. Ask them to change their Spotify play list if you don't like what's playing. My husband did this for me. Thanks husband @GeorgiaLawyer! That's why I married you.
  5. Don't let your partner peek around the curtain.
    A show they'll never be able to unsee. My guts and stuff are private!
  6. Nip and tuck?
    They probably won't give you a tummy tuck even if you beg. And evidently there's no such thing as belly button makeover but I did ask for one.
  7. Baby time and awkward posing
    The angle will be awkward for pics but who cares? You just birthed a freaking human (or maybe even TWO)
  8. You'll be afraid to poop
    Laxatives are your friends
  9. Laughing, coughing, sneezing
    Might be scarier than pooping. Hurts like a mofo.
  10. You've had a baby AND MAJOR SURGERY
    Get your mom to remind your spouse of this. It will be hard to do the norm. But chin up... at least your vagina is ok!!!
  11. The worst bikini wax ever
    Holy smokes it's like getting the worst bikini wax when they remove those staples. Think epilady. Soon that experience will be a distant memory you'll turn into a List.