Chairs in My House That Think I'm an Asshole
- •Butterfly chair from 1994. She's all "FU for not having sex on me in college. You're making it more complicated than it is."
- •Antique ladder back chair. He's like "nobody puts baby in the corner... Except you bitch. Why you keep putting me in the corner?"
- •The porcelain chair. "Why're you always giving me shit? All I do is support you!"
- •The wicker chair. "I have a purpose in life you seem to deny. You can't cover up the truth for long."
- •The hand-me-down chair. "I feel a little more broken every time you're near."
- •The bean bag. He's always yelling at me, "I'm fucking bean bag. Stop calling me a chair, asshole."