Musical Instruments I've Attempted to Learn and Failed At

  1. Piano
    I took piano lessons for 6 years and was still never able to read sheet music. The only song I know still is part of Fur Elise and of course Heart and Soul
  2. Harmonica
    I bought a Klutz harmonica book and never read it but blew the hell out of that thing.
  3. The 5-string Banjo
    I was 15 when I watched old videos of Steve Martin playing the banjo. It was then that I pictured my own future as a stand up comedian who could also play bluegrass. I got a banjo, bought a VHS how-to video, taught myself how to play Burn Them Cabbage Down and then took one lesson from an actual real live instructor. I took my banjo with me to college and every new city thereafter. I still have it and wish I could jam on it. Once a year I look for an instructor but then I don't follow through.
  4. Beat Boxing
    I do consider the mouth a potential musical instrument. Mine is not. But I tried to teach myself how to beat box by watching several beat box videos. No good. So I decided to make my kids watch. Now one of them literally won't stop beat boxing. Ever. EVER.