1. For Father's Day: "I hate you, I wish you weren't my dad and wish you were dead."
  2. Thinking of You: "When you're dead, I get your jewelry and money!"
  3. Sympathy Card: "I'm not sorry."
  4. Birthdays (for her): "Where's MY present?"
  5. Birthdays (for him): "Where's MY present?"
  6. Mother's Day: "I'm going to give you tiny kisses all over and then lick your face... Also, can I have your present?"