The Dichotomy of Growing Up in the 1980s with Paranoid Jewish Parents
Spoiler Alert: I'm still alive.
- •My dad had "No Smoking" signs in his car.
- •Yet, his car was a two-seater Alpha Romeo convertible and I sat in the backseat, which was just a luggage rack.
- •My mom would put plugs in every outlet even though I was in elementary school.
- •Yet, she'd tuck me in at night with an electric blanket.
- •My parents would have talks with us about "just saying no" to drugs, including the extreme dangers of taking too many Flinstones vitamins.
- •Yet after dinner, we'd gather in the living room to watch our favorite family TV show, Miami Vice.
- •My mom would frighten me about potential child molesters at the mall so I wouldn't wonder off.
- •Yet she helped pick out the clothes for my Halloween costume, a punk rock prostitute.