The Fake li.st Neighborhood Listserve

Post your fake classifieds, ridiculous unneighborly complaints, and don't forget to be a part of the snarky comments section!
  1. Y'all had so much fun at the Memorial Day block party, but "someone's" kid threw up hotdog all over our trampoline. Please come clean it up. On a side note: We are selling our trampoline for $125. It's in fantastic condition and just in time for some summer fun.
  2. Just a friendly reminder to keep your kids on leashes! We really don't want anyone's child getting run over! It wouldn't look good for our safe little community here!
    Suggested by   @kate81
  3. Hey there, Somebody moved the "picking up your dog doodoo is a must-do" signs I placed on the right-of-way all the way up and down the street? I'm sure it was just a harmless mistake but please leave them because I placed them in areas that have been historically doodoo-y. I have lots of extras so I don't need them placed on my doorstep!
    Love from Me and Frankie the Dog!
    Suggested by   @sophiack
  4. Does anyone have an idea for some safe activities for the July 4th party this year? After the "sparkler incident" last summer we'd like to keep it safe and FUN for all!
    Suggested by   @kate81
  5. OPIOID ABUSE IS A REAL ISSUE IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD!!! Don't be naive, people!!! Join our task force to eradicate addiction in our neighborhood and force all the junkies into the next municipality over!!!!!!!!!
    Suggested by   @readjulia
  6. Hi neighbors! Happy summer! After chatting with Julia at the Memorial Day bash (I will bring spinach dip to the first Opioid Awareness Taskforce meeting, Jules!) I just wanted to assure everyone that the smell coming from our backyard earlier that week was from burning lawn clippings in our fire pit—not the "other" kind of grass, you sillies!
    They smell exactly the same, I swear! Not that I'm all that familiar with what pot smells like. Really! It's just what I've heard from...um...people I used to know, but am definitely not friends with anymore!
    Suggested by   @ladyprofessor
  7. Everyone, please take down your holiday decor already! As we are well into the month of June, the only thing adorning your entryway should be a patriotic wreath (please keep it tasteful) or a simple boxwood monogram (PM me florist suggestions). I really don't want to call out anyone, but it seems that a few of you did not read the community bylaws!
    Suggested by   @alligeeshow
  8. As Prezi of our Neighborhood Block Party Sub-org, I'd like to formally welcome the adorbs new couple that just moved onto the street @Nicholas and @Caroline — our Neighborhood HOA President (and whose responsibility it actually is to do the Welcomings) @alligeeshow will be dropping off the by-laws by Tuesday am. Tuesday, Alli— got that?
  9. Gently used Breast pump. $52 obo
    Suggested by   @ameliaville
  10. Tuesday is Digby and Aston's fourth birthday party, so I'm sorry but that just won't work. I'm also sorry that we weren't able to invite you (again) this year, we had to cap the list at 75 children. We wanted to make sure each child had a pony to ride and (Pro Tip!) there aren't as many ponies available anymore—I blame PETA. Animal rights, ugh!
    Suggested by   @alligeeshow
  11. Inquiring if Digby and Aston's party will be sugar free, gluten free, vegan, and GMO free. Everything else us just poison and why would I poison my children? Thank you in advance! I am happy to provide the organic kale chips and stevia laced sparkling water!
    Suggested by   @MaddyandOwensMom
  12. If I brought the breast pump to Digby & Astons party do you think anyone would buy it from me? I don't want to bring it if no one's interested, but I have to think someone might need it?!?
    Suggested by   @ameliaville
  13. Hi everyone! New to the neighborhood! Just moved from Colorado so I'm something of an expert on what "grass" smells like. So, @ladyprofessor, just so you know, I'm very familiar with the smell that was wafting our direction the other night. Just saying. Have fun at the party!!!
    Suggested by   @julieann718
  14. Also, @MaddyandOwensMom please note that this page is reserved for important neighborhood news and announcements, and is not to be used for the peddling of pre-owned personal care items. Again, refer to the community guidelines, thx!
    Suggested by   @alligeeshow
  15. @MaddyandOwensMom There will be no food served at Digby and Aston's celebration—only clear, sparkling liquids.
    Suggested by   @alligeeshow