Times I Would Shamelessly Sprint in Public

  1. Being chased by a swarm of bees or wasps or hornets. I mean really, if any swarm of insect was chasing me I'd be running… Even if it were ladybugs.
  2. If I spotted Adrock or Mike D. First, I would hyperventilate. Then I'd scream like one of those girls in vintage news footage of the Beatles. Finally, I'd run to them with open arms. Then I'd hyperventilate again because my body is not used to running.
  3. If it's cold and I'm not dressed properly. I don't like any extreme of weather. Yet I don't like to wear pants even during the winter. I will sprint to get to a heated car or building. My tush is always cold. And that's painful.