1. My husband tries to get in the zone one boarding line at the airport, when our tickets clearly indicate we are zone four. This is what embarrasses me: breaking rules. But there are other things that don't embarrass me that, perhaps, should. Like what I'm about to tell you.
  2. I'm an Internet troll.
  3. But instead of interrupting usual conversations, I troll my Facebook messenger's "other" folder. Do you spot it to the right of the inbox? Most people don't know about the other folder (or ignore it).
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  4. It's where messages go from people you're not Facebook friends with. It's where spam goes to die. It's also where I go to learn about banks in foreign countries that want to give me money, how cheap I can get Viagra and that I am, perhaps, too good at taking selfies for my Facebook profile pics.
  5. The fodder I find is not in the one-way messages of strangers, but rather in the conversations that ensue when I actually respond. I don't respond to all messages, but when I do it goes something like this:
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