1. Be an amazing old lady comedian whose material is real sexual, confusing and clever. I will also be the spokesperson for an old lady product like Old Lady Masengil or Depends. People will yell at me, "oh my god it's that funny old who tells sex jokes!" They'll ask for my autograph. I will only sign their tits.
  2. Embarrass all the generations related to me.
  3. Finally try out CrossFit which will probably be more like saying you do Billy Blank's Tae-Bo at that point in time. I will make an old lady CrossFit video. It will go viral.
  4. Still never know how to hem pants or sew a button. I will have people for that since I will be Old Lady comedian and spokesperson.
  5. Totally be invited to #nyfw to sit in the front row.