When I Was a Pimp at Jewish Summer Camp

  1. I've always been entrepreneurial...Even at a young age. One of my first "jobs" was at Jewish sleep away camp. It wasn't as a camp counselor. I was the camp pimp. Don't worry it's not as weird as you think, because I wasn't an adult… I was 13!
  2. Instead of a cane, I carried a gold-tipped flashlight.
  3. Instead of a pimp hat, I wore a Blossom hat.
  4. Instead of pimp juice, I carried a flask of bug juice.
  5. Instead of doing blow with my "clients", I was snorting Pixie stick dust...First taste was free.
  6. When I was 13, I was very boy crazy and flirty, but simultaneously a prude when it came down to it. So in lieu of hooking up with the guys I had crushes on, I began setting them up with my hornier well-developed friends who appreciated the match-making.
  7. The most action I saw that summer was when I tripped and fell on my flashlight. And then, I only ended up with a bruised vagina, and a sudden urge to hump my flashlight. That was my big light bulb moment.