ACCURATE BUT PROBABLY UNACCEPTABLE RESPONSES TO "WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?"

no jogging here, pal.
  1. googling with the intent of justifying my behavior
    "why cheat days are good for you"
  2. rewatching television shows from my youth and realizing all of the characters are actually terrible
    LOOKING AT YOU, LORELAI.
  3. figuring out what my favorite cheese is
    a lifelong journey of discovery.
  4. moisturizing
  5. going down social media rabbit holes
    all-star cheerleading instagram is both absolutely terrifying and riveting
  6. facemasking
  7. watching movies on cable that i own and have already seen 9000 times
    specifically ones that no one will watch with me because i mouth the words.
  8. questioning whether i should get bangs
  9. filling online shopping carts and never hitting "check out"
  10. screenshotting
  11. managing my goldendoodle's instagram career
  12. @list -ing