i didn't include shannon kilbourne because i do not trust her TO THIS DAY.
  1. blake lively as dawn schafer
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    both have that effortless (infuriating) beachy gorgeous thing going on. also, dawn is definitely a health instagrammer/LIFESTYLE COACH that makes 10k/post shilling protein powder, right?
  2. anna kendrick as kristy thomas
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    the first person i thought of who fit that kind of tomboyish vibe who wasn't kristen stewart (WHO IS INSUFFERABLE). kristy is still v into bossing people around. probably working in hollywood as a director.
  3. scarlett johansson as stacey mcgill
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    i dislike them both and they're both blonde, so. likely living in nyc, dated leonardo dicaprio at some point, and is a co-chair on like ten diabetes fundraisers. (we are never allowed to forget about the die-uh-bee-tus).
  4. emma stone as mallory pike
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    let me be honest here, mallory was the worst. i feel bad emma has to play her even in this hypothetical, but there are only so many redheads to choose from. book editor and aunt to like 63 nieces and nephews.
  5. lupita nyong'o as jessi ramsey
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    both elegant AF. probably a model or barre fitness mogul.
  6. jamie chung as claudia kishi
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    in an alternate universe, dylan's candy bar is actually claudia's candy bar and it doesn't even matter she can't spell for shit. (she can pay people to worry about that nonsense)
  7. natalie portman as mary anne spier
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    both are boring and brunette. mary anne definitely married her eighth-grade boyfriend, logan and they have three kids and live in the burbs.
  8. emmy rossum as abby
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    i forgot she existed! curly hair and...allergies? emmy def looks like she could play someone who's congested. what do we think she grew up to be?
  9. slightly chubby chris pratt as logan bruno
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    dad bod and seems like a pushover.
  10. karen brewer
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    what do we think, gang? shipka, fanning, moretz, or breslin for the little sis role?!