PEOPLE WE NEED TO CHECK ON

hello, i've been gone for weeks. did you miss me more or less than the following celebs?
  1. saint west
    seriously where you at, bb???? luna legend is stealing ALL of your thunder.
  2. taylor swift
    c'mon, tay—you subject us to a weeks-long world tour of hiddleswift and a little controversy drives you into hiding?? SHAKE. IT. OFF. (mainly bc i wanna see if the pregnancy conspiracy is true)
  3. melania trump
    did you head back to slovenia?? it's fine, we get it, but can you send a carrier pigeon with confirmation that ur okay??
  4. frank ocean
    wtf, man?