8 Strange things I've heard myself say because of cancer...

I was first diagnosed on 8/8/08 so in honor of my 8th cancerversary...
  1. 1.
    How do you expect me to remember what organs I still have left in there?!
    Lots of surgeries means lots of confusion about this one.
  2. 2.
    Well, I guess you'd say it's a lot like that scaly skin disease on Game of Thrones.
  3. 3.
    I'm feeling so much better now that I get horrible diarrhea every day.
    I only have those lie on the bed in the dark in the fetal position pains an hour or so every day - instead of 4-6 hours every few days.
  4. 4.
    Bald doesn't really bother me. Do you have any idea what I would give for some nose hair though!?
    Nose hair stops snot from running out.
  5. 5.
    I'm actually the only one in this family who is worth more alive than dead.
    ...because nobody will ever give me life insurance!
  6. 6.
    Immune suppression is the best excuse I'll ever have for avoiding her.
    There are very few people I avoid but sometimes when you're sick taking care of yourself means only surrounding yourself with great people.
  7. 7.
    I finally understand all the boys I went to middle school with who wore hats all the time.
    Growing out hair from bald is awkward!
  8. 8.
    Let me show you why I can't eat so that you can stop talking about how good that pineapple is.
    Mouth sores suck!