This is just what happened today. I have cancer for the 4th time and have CTs every 2 months these days so the monotony of this process inspired this list. I'm really positive and happy about everything almost all of the time, so this is my therapy for the day. Hospital administrators take note.
  1. This thing
    This is a really bootleg wall decoration.
  2. This, again?!
    Even though I'm at this hospital all the time the process acts like they've never met me. For example, they insist that my primary care doctor isn't "in their computer system" so every single time I come in for any test or have an appointment or chemo or have to register for a test they insist that they will now put my doctor and all their contact info into the system and it will always show up in the future. This has happened 1-3 times per week for the past year and a half. It's hilarious now.
  3. It's hard to remember what organs I still have and which ones have been operated on when
    Was that my small or large bowel? What was that thing called - omentum? Which ovary was 2008 and which was 2011? Seriously. One of these days I'll make a cheat sheet, but for now the thought is too depressing and I suffer through guessing every single time. Nothing ever fits in the space provided.
  4. Empathetic Scanxiety
    I actually don't ever get Scanxiety because I've never had a scan where I didn't already know I had cancer or that it was back so I've never really been scared. That being said, I always think about all of my friends who do suffer emotionally before, during and after scans. It makes me really sad. I hope all my loved ones who are "cancer free" stay that way because this really does suck.
  5. The volunteer lady
    That's where she sits and while it sounds really nice that she volunteers at the hospital, she does it just for the chance to be rude and snappy to people who are at her mercy, which is everyone who needs a scan.
  6. The tech who doesn't ask you what flavor you want
    Inexplicably there is one tech who just brings you whatever flavor contrast dye she wants to give you without asking you what you'd like. The worst is when you're still sitting there drinking the flavor you didn't get to choose while a different tech comes out and makes a big deal letting another patient choose their flavor from many options. This happened to me today, again.
  7. The waterfall
    What the fuck were they thinking putting a waterfall in a place where a bunch of elderly people need to be able to hear their name or number being called? Just imagine it.
  8. The jerks who talk about food or worse yet, eat
    As if the waterfall isn't bad enough while they're remodeling they literally have a coffee shop in the same space with people who have to wait for hours after they haven't been able to eat or drink all day.
  9. 2 hours
    Over 8 years I've had scans at probably 5 different places. Usually you show up 1 hour early and drink the contrast dye and then go in for your scan. Here you wait 2 hours which is long enough for my chemo and surgery battered digestive system to get really pissed that I'm drinking contrast dye again. So, I sit there for the extra hour focused entirely on willing my brain not to let my body evacuate itself before I can make it to the bathroom.
  10. Honorable mention for achievements in having cancer
    Almost every single time I go to a medical establishment while someone is reading my history they express shock that I've had cancer so many times at my age. Unless I win a monetary prize it would be great not to pity me. I don't need any. I also don't want to feel like I'm shocking a medical professional with how shitty my situation is. I really appreciate if you care and there are many ways to say something kind so just choose that instead.