Things I told my kid I thought when he didn't call me after school.

I forgot to tell my middle schooler that I would not be home when he got home from school. I left a note for him to call me, but he didn't. I decided to guilt him when I got home so I told him that I thought he....
  1. Couldn't get the key to work, so he had to sit outside waiting for me in the 90 degree Alabama heat.
  2. Fell and broke his leg and he couldn't crawl to the phone
  3. Someone read the note (taped to the door) and took him
  4. Went knocking on all the neighbors doors and they were calling CPS on me.
  5. None of these worked. He shrugged and gave me a half-hearted, "Sorry."