ALTERNATE IDENTITIES INSPIRED BY THE DISPOSABLE SUNGLASSES I GOT AT THE EYE DOCTOR

  1. Motorcycle cop
    I will pull over everyone who texts and drives and give them a sultry but stern warning.
  2. Violet from the Incredibles
    She has the same power as Bella Swan but isn't the worst.
  3. Willie Shearman from Stephen King's "Blind Willie"
    He's not really blind, he's a Vietnam Vet who now lives a comfortable suburban life but pays daily penance by dressing up as a blind veteran and begging on the street. Good story - from Hearts in Atlantis - check it out.
  4. Ah-nold from Terminator 2.
    You know, the one where he's the nice terminator.
  5. Trinity from The Matrix
    Duh.
  6. A female version of Cyclops who is basically inserted into the X Men to distract him (sexily, of course) while Jean Grey and Wolverine finally get it on.
    This one's my favorite. I am selfless and also get to smooch James Marsden.
  7. Here's what they look like: