REASONS I HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY NAILS DONE DESPITE MY MOM SAYING IT LOOKS UNPROFESSIONAL NOT TO

No, my profession is not "hooker," which one might assume from the above.
  1. Busy
    At my actual profession. And also writing lists here.
  2. Lazy
    Self-explanatory.
  3. Too stressful to pick a specific shade
    Am I feeling more "A-List" or "Twin Sweater Set"? Or maybe "Pouf Daddy"?
  4. Don't want to make random small talk with a nail technician.
    She doesn't give a fuck anyway, but I still feel bad.
  5. Don't want to feel bad about NOT making random small talk with a nail technician.
    Even though she doesn't give a fuck anyway.
  6. Don't want to wonder what the nail technician is saying to her colleague about me in a foreign language.
    And then wonder if I'm self-obsessed because I assume they're making fun of me and not discussing, like, the book they're reading or if Princess Kate is having a girl or a boy.
  7. No cash for the tip
    I refuse to use the ATM there which charges an extra fee even though that fee is probably equal to what I lose in the seat of my car on a weekly basis.
  8. Because fuck the patriarchy, man!
    ...but my nails would look nice in a red, especially one with a kicky name.