STEVE AND I WENT TO DISNEYLAND AND ALL YOU GOT WAS THIS LOUSY (AND LATE) LIST

Anyone else remember that 80s trend of kids in "Mom and Dad went to Hawaii and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" gear? No? Just me? Okay, then. In any case, I figured I owed you guys a list as thanks for the great Disney tips and tricks!
  1. We got down there mid-morning last Saturday, checked in at our hotel (Paradise Pier), and hit the park.
    @bonifaceviii (aka Steve) was very excited to ride the monorail, so we made that our first "ride" (in quotes bc does transport count as a ride?).
  2. From there, we grabbed a fast pass for Space Mountain.
    We then hit Frontierland for some Big Thunder action - once we'd been on an actual ride, Steve perked up considerably, bringing my plan of constant trips to Disneyland one step closer to reality.
  3. A few rides later, we headed back to Tomorrowland.
    Space Mountain was as good as Steve remembered it. Duh.
  4. Then it was on to the single rider line at Splash Mountain.
    This is a stellar line hack and we thank you kind listappers for the tip! (Can you tell via my expression I'm so excited about the time we saved?)
  5. After lunch, we moved onto California Adventure. First stop? Ariel's Undersea Adventure.
    This is my favorite ride in both parks and I have zero shame about it.
  6. Extra Ariel pic of my favorite character in the entire ride. This turtle is SO FUCKING EXCITED to be dancing around.
    However, he may be holding the lobsters hostage slash threatening the lives of their loved ones. LOOK HOW SCARED THEY LOOK!
  7. I showed him Mickey's Death Wheel (aka Mickey's Fun Wheel, but my name for it is more accurate), the scariest ride in both parks.
    It is shocking none of those swinging cars have fallen off yet. This ride is the thing nightmares are made of.
  8. We chose a way less scary ride, California Screamin.
    I was screaming in the picture because, you know, I love a theme.
  9. Then we stopped for a margarita.
    And I got a life-changing text. My friend Steven (so many Steves in my life, confusing I know) saw my Ariel photos on Instagram and was like "are you at Disneyland?"
  10. I responded yes, and Steven invited us to come by Club 33 that night.
    I lost my mind.
  11. I have been obsessed with Club 33 - the super-exclusive members only restaurant/bar inside Disneyland - for what seems like forever.
    It's featured in Rupert Holmes' book Where The Truth Lies, which was made into a movie starring Kevin Bacon and Colin Firth that wasn't bad, but the book is far superior. I read the book years ago and have wanted to go ever since.
  12. Aside: Rupert Holmes is also the author of such diverse works of art as The Mystery of Edwin Drood: The Musical and "Escape (The Piña Colada Song)".
    He is a personal hero and seriously, that book I mention above is very good. And I have a whole other list in me about how heartbreakingly sad The Piña Colada Song is.
  13. We go back to the hotel to rest/watch the basketball game, me buzzing with insane energy about how exciting this is.
    Steve is like yeah, whatever, it's a restaurant, what's the big deal.
  14. When we venture out again, we grab a quick bite, then I lead/drag my patient fiancé to 33 Royal Street, aka the club of my dreams.
    At our knock, a woman peeks her head out of the cracked-open door. I explain we are guests of Steven's, and she informs us we have to wait for our host to approve our entry. Steven bounds downstairs at just that moment and the door opens wide to receive us.
  15. Club 33 has recently been redone and is basically like the SoHo House if it were decorated by a (classy) Disney obsessive.
    It's a gorgeous restaurant and lounge peppered with all kinds of cool touches - paintings that move, holograms that emerge to perform songs when certain tunes come up on the soundtrack.
  16. We hung there with Steven, his girlfriend, and some of his Club 33 friends.
    Club 33 seems v similar to ListApp in the way everyone is quickly bonded due to the shared experience, also similar in that everyone seems very genuinely nice and friendly.
  17. After a few drinks and a tour of the club, we were ready to head out - a day at Disneyland gets exhausting and we didn't want to overstay our welcome.
    On the way out, Steven handed us each three fastpasses that would work all weekend - Club 33 members apparently get an allotment each day and Steven had more than he needed. We lost our minds.
  18. We happily hit the sack, crowing about how many lines we would get to cut the next morning.
    Steve had to admit that the Club 33 experience was insanely cool and incredibly worth it.
  19. The next am, we hit Fantasyland first to beat the crowds (they don't take fastpasses on any of those rides so it's good to go there early).
    Here we are on the teacups.
  20. And a fastpass swept us right onto Indiana Jones.
    Steve's hat was especially appropriate for this ride.
  21. Then Space Mountain one more time.
  22. Where I couldn't resist getting a shot of the hilarious safety instruction card.
    Am I the only one who thinks this sign looks like "no disco dancing"? Calm down, Footloose!
  23. Our final stop was back to CA Adventure, where we rode Grizzly Rapids and only got kind of wet (I love water rides but not when my shoes get soggy).
    We rode along with a mom and her maybe four year old boy, who was NOT having fun. It was awkward.
  24. The Cars ride was down for maintenance, so we did the next best thing: selfies in the Cars Land petting zoo.
    It's seriously a petting zoo to pose with the cars. So odd. Also, I love that Steve's expression here is all "Are we ever going home?"
  25. But go home we did, with a brief pit stop at Portillos for burgers and fries.
    And a promise to come back soon. Anyone up for a ListApp Disney day?
  26. Thanks again for all of the advice, guys!