THESE ARE MY USELESS SUPERPOWERS
- •Leaving at the last possible second and still being early.I am that person who just cannot be late. I hate hate hate being late and on the rare occasion I am I berate myself so much that the person I'm meeting is like "calm down, you're fine," and I'm like "noooooo I have failed." If you invite me to your party where 8 really means 9 I will still be ready to leave at 7:45 and have to kill time for an hour. Even when I TRY to be fashionably late I still end up being early. Magically there's no traffic and I'm still the jerk who's there first. Sorry!
- •Going the wrong way out of the subway and other directional failures.I grew up in New York. I go to New York multiple times a year. I have yet to exit a subway station and initially walk in the direction I mean to go. I have the opposite of a sense of direction.
- •Remembering people's names.If I've met you once I remember your name. The only person I've ever met who's better at this than me is Hugh Jackman, who doesn't just remember your name, he remembers the name of your mother who you mentioned the one time you met him. I've seen him do this with fans and it's insane. For me, it's more of a curse, because I remember yours and you don't remember mine and then it's awkward because either I look like a stalker or you look like a jerk or both.
- •Reading quickly.This one isn't really useless, though if I lived in a world where everyone had powers and mine was speed-reading I'd be pretty disappointed. I actually think this one is just due to the 10,000 hours rule: if you spend as much time reading as I do, you get fast. And yes, I retain the information I read, I don't skim.
- •Knowing more left-handed people than statistically normal.A majority of my friends are left-handed, as am I. Maybe there's some kind of left-handed-person pheromone we all emit that helps us find one another?
- •Waking up two minutes before the alarm clock.Suggested by @evan