THINGS I AM GUILTY OF

This list best read while listening to Usher's "Confessions" on repeat. Then go listen to "I Don't Mind" as long as you're in an Usher mood and think more about how he TOTALLY FUCKING MINDS.
  1. Not flossing as often as I tell my dentist.
    Flossing feels exhausting to me most days. I know it's so childish. I'm trying to improve.
  2. Pretending I've seen that show or that movie you're talking about.
    Most of the time it's not actually relevant to the story you're telling if I have or haven't, so it's way easier to just say yes and let you tell the story than to have a whole five minute sidebar about "HOW HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THAT?!"
  3. Overthinking everything I eat.
    One day I'll have a not-weird relationship with food. I hope.
  4. Overscheduling myself.
    I'm getting better but it's hard.
  5. Ghosting/French Exiting at parties.
    Saying goodbye is annoying for everyone. I do t want to interrupt your conversation to say bye when you totally won't care one bit if I don't. Sorry to everyone I ghosted on last night! I adored meeting you all (duh) but I just cannot handle the long drawn-out round of goodbyes. And see, you're also fine with not getting to say bye to me. Everyone wins!
  6. Ending sentences in prepositions.
    See list title.