THINGS THE FIANCE HAS SAID WHILE WATCHING THE OSCARS

@bonifaceviii does not work in entertainment and I enjoy his commentary
  1. Jason Bateman was a child star?
    HE WAS IN THE HOGAN FAMILY! I may have to rethink this marriage.
  2. Ooh they're all dressed like Emmett! ...they still got boned though.
    Commentary on the "Everything is Awesome" performance and then on the huge snub of The Lego Movie not getting a best animated feature nom (I agree).
  3. Me: LOOK AT THE ROCK! The Rock looks so happy! Him: He's in the same row as Oprah, how can he not be?
  4. It was probably the black hole, that was cool.
    Explaining why Interstellar won the VFX Oscar. I was too distracted by Chloe Moretz's insistence on keeping her hands in her pockets the entire time.
  5. Him: What should we wear? Me: ? Him: For the engagement photos. Me: I don't know, nice clothes? Him: Like a bow tie?
    To be fair, this is the section of the show where everyone in the audience has gone to the bar*, so I guess we're paying as much attention as the rest of em. (*FYI THE OSCARS HAS A CASH BAR. THEY GIVE 160K GIFT BAGS TO NOMINEES BUT THEY MAKE YOU BUY YOUR OWN VODKA SODA. I DON'T GET IT.)
  6. So Lonnie Lynn is Common?
    We learn something new every day.
  7. Let's just watch Shark Tank.
    Okay, I actually said that. Not even list-capping this show is making it interesting.