THOUGHTS ON HAVING A YOUNG FEMALE UBER DRIVER

Listing live from the back of a very clean VW Jetta.
  1. Okay, definitely won't get murdered.
  2. Did I just stereotypically profile? Kind of, huh.
  3. That's terrible. I need to remember that white blonde girls who look like Kappa pledges can be murderers too.
  4. Well, at least she won't start talking my ear off about her nagging wife.
    My last uber driver was a 40-something dude who wanted my opinion on women, his being basically "bitches be complaining and spending money."
  5. Hold on, that's also an awful assumption. She could have a terrible wife, why not?
    Oh, that's sad. Is she driving as a means of escape?
  6. Is there any evidence in the car of her crumbling marriage?
    She isn't wearing a ring - looks like a smoking gun to me...
  7. Should I ask about her relationship status?
    She might think I'm hitting on her. Or start crying.
  8. Hold on, I hate when Uber drivers talk to me anyway. Why would I invite conversation?
  9. ...
  10. WHY ISN'T SHE TRYING TO TALK TO ME?
    I'm just trying to sympathize with her difficult home situation, especially since she is a good driver and not taking the Laurel Canyon curves like an insane person!
  11. I AM A PERSON BACK HERE!
    Why doesn't my Uber driver like me?
  12. No wonder her wife is leaving her.