Requested by Sally

TROLL LIST

Everyone's talking about having all the feels about the app going public. I personally am excited to potentially have a troll/several trolls, because as a very important OG ListApper, of course I will. Right? Right. @sally agrees! So here are some types of trolls who might troll me and what they could say.
  1. Troll under the bridge
    Classic fairy tale troll, this guy is a grouch looking for cash. He'll call me cheap for my obsession with credit card points and airline miles, or how I google for coupons before buying anything online. However, I will destroy him once he asks me the riddles required to cross the bridge, cause, you know, momma didn't raise no non-Grimms-reading fool.
  2. Troll doll
    Will get on my case for never really caring that much about this fad and how that made him and his troll friends feel. Also has at least as many occupations as Barbie so can make my life difficult in myriad ways: at the doctor? Sorry, your insurance isn't accepted in the Troll Network. Call the cops after a break-in? You better hope the 5-0 coming to take your statement doesn't have a cap lifted by a particularly poofy hairdo. Personal trainer? TROLL PERSONAL TRAINER SHOWS NO MERCY!
  3. T. Roll
    The infamous rapper, you may remember him from his disruptive display at the GraMaginary Awards, after a fairy won the top accolade over his pick, a unicorn. He rushed the stage and - sorry fairy, imma let you finish, but THIS UNICORN IS THE BEST IMAGINARY CREATURE OF ALL TIME. You remember. Anyway, I feel that my fate at his hands will be even worse than that fairy. And I'm not even imaginary.
  4. T. R. Oll, PhD
    This troll is way more educated than you or you or you - even you fancy doctor types. He judges me using my college education on making up stories rather than saving the world. Let's be honest, he judges me for only having a BA, though I get a tiny bit of begrudging respect for marrying a PhD. But only a tiny bit.
  5. And my own turn to troll: hey @list - I feel concerned that the blue checkmark of famousness will tear us all apart.
    Or probably I'm just jealous and would like my own blue checkmark validating my existence. I mean, what if my trolls join the app and get confused about which Mandi to troll? Who do I need to bribe? @bjnovak @dev @Nicholas?