Dear @bjnovak I NEED YOU.
  1. We both agree your goatee in The Office was horribly brilliant.
  2. If you follow me, maybe my friends will join.
  3. Tom did it.
  4. I promise never to publicly diss you.
  5. I am open to discussion about privately never dissing you.
  6. I have only one follower.
    I know that you want more for me, otherwise you wouldn't have made The List App the way it is.
  7. You believe in me.
    We haven't met, but I know this to be true.
  8. I asked my magic 🎱 ball if you would follow me and it said "don't count on it."
    Help me prove that bastard wrong.
  9. I don't know what the + means.... +
  10. Pls m8.