HOW TO QUIT YOUR JOB WITHOUT GETTING FIRED

  1. DON’T resign in public. Whether you work in an open-office workspace or not, this is one very important conversation to have in private. Schedule a time in advance for a one-on-one chat with your supervisor.
  2. DO it in person.
  3. DON’T be afraid that your boss will be “mad” at you for leaving. It’s important that you make positive, strategic moves for your career.
  4. DO consider the counter-offer (if offered). Give it 24-hours if your main reason for leaving was about money.
  5. DON’T take the counter-offer if you were miserable regardless of money or promotion or office-with-the-corner-view.
  6. DO be as honest as possible with yourself when it comes to your reasons for leaving. Be honest with your employers, too, in your exit interview. It will be constructive for both of you.
  7. DON’T use expletives or give The Finger. I know it seemed obvious a few paragraphs ago, but just in case…
  8. DO give your minimum required notice. However, more notice will always be appreciated. Once it’s time to Curtis Mayfield and Move On Up, remember that you’ll still need to tie up loose ends and most likely train You 2.0. In fact, offer to train You 2.0 before you’re asked.
  9. DON’T fake your own death to avoid the inevitably uncomfortable conversation and never have go back to work. It will be a costly venture and you won’t have a reference for your next employee.
  10. DO return all work-related materials such as laptops, phones, keys, security passes and the like. It’s a legal obligation. However! If a half-used pack of Post-its “finds” its way in to your bag, well…
  11. DON’T trash-talk your old employer. Not when you’re about to quit, not when you have to quit, not in your interview, not when you’re at your next job, especially not over social media. Save it for a night in with your friends in a definitely-not-bugged environment.
  12. DO bring brownies to work. You don’t even have to be leaving. Or looking for another job. Just bring them anyway. To my office works, too.
  13. DON’T mentally check out. If you have another opportunity on the horizon, don’t fill your days with Candy Crush when you still have a job to do. Knock knock, who’s there? YOU ARE.