HOW TO TEACH YOURSELF TO BE A MORNING PERSON

Rise and shine! (But actually.)
  1. Make a plan and set small goals
  2. Say goodbye to blackout shades
    You need light. Switch every flip immediately upon waking up. It gets you out of bed and makes it hard to fall back asleep. Don’t have a window/need to get up before dawn to make this work? Buy a wake-up light.
  3. Don't send yourself into shock by immediately "doing things"
    Let yourself actually wake up. Turn on music, then make coffee, read a quick news debrief and stare at your neighbors through the window. (Hi!) Tell yourself, "It's going to be a nice morning!"
  4. That said, being a morning person actually means doing stuff, so do stuff, but keep it reasonable
    Like don’t do math, but maybe do yoga. Soon enough you'll be opening your eyes before your alarm goes off like a recovered athlete in a Nyquil commercial. This means you'll eventually start being productive in the morning. Start with a 30-minute at-home workout every day (reasonable goal setting) which still allows you time to do other things like shower and run errands. Morning errands, you'll learn, are the only way to do errands.
  5. Once you hit a goal, don't be afraid to expand it
    It gets easier — like waxing. You'll soon be a waking up pro. So much so that you'll realize that you can handle an even earlier call time. Begin setting your alarm for half an hour earlier, which means you can leave home to go workout. This might also leave you with time to yourself before work. Take up flossing.
  6. Keep it to yourself
    No one wants to hear about your achievements in waking up. Birds have not yet learned this, which you know if you've ever had a window. They're the loud, feathered equivalent of those people who send gym Snapchats.