None of these are made up, I'm both proud and sorry to say.
- •Tunnocks TeacakesSo beloved we put giant dancing ones in the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony
- •Top HatAn ice cream cone with a Tunnocks snowball on top. A must-do when visiting the Isle of Bute. I ate this one in the rain, because Scotland.
- •Irn BruLuminous orange fizzy pop made from girders (until advertising regulators stepped in)
- •ButteriesKind of like a compressed croissant made from lard which in my family you then top with butter and cheese for extra lard. Only to be eaten in the North East - they don't travel well.
- •Square sausageEasier to fit in a roll. I crave this every six months and then the gallon of fat that appears in the dry frying pan puts me off again.
- •MacaroonsNot to be confused with French macarons or English macaroons, ours are made from mashed potato mixed with a mountain of icing sugar, covered in chocolate and coconut.
- •TabletBasically an easier way to eat an entire bag of sugar.
- •Orkney FudgeIt's softer and creamier than most fudge. Popular in cheesecake too.
- •Soor PloomsSour boiled sweets. Impossible to say without using an exaggerated comedy Scottish accent.
- •Cullen SkinkThe best soup made with smoked haddock, potatoes and cream.
- •StoviesIf you want to start a fight in Scotland ask a group of people from different regions what stovies are and sit well back.
- •Deep fried Mars BarOnly tourists buy these, though they are apparently amazing.
- •Pizza CrunchA battered, deep-fried pizza. Your vegetarian option at chip shops.
- •Munchy BoxFor indecisively unhealthy eaters.
- •HaggisA shy highland animal with two legs shorter than the others for running sideways up mountains. Traditionally eaten on Burns Night with neeps, tatties and whisky. Drawing by my excellent pal Neil Slorance.