1. We did all of the research.
  2. We knew which sites accepted walk-ups.
  3. We left work early and made tinfoil dinners.
  4. All of the campsites in the entire valley were full before 3.
    Fail #1
  5. The nice lady in the booth told us off-road camping was totally fine as long as we were 200 feet from water and 1/4 mile from the road.
  6. We parked the car and packed all of our stuff up the mountain.
  7. The stuff was not made for hiking. It was heavy and a lot.
  8. We maybe didn't go a full 1/4 mile...
    But who was counting?
  9. We set up the tent. Played SkipBo. Took a nap.
  10. I set up the hammock and read my excellent book.
  11. We started a fire and made s'mores and threw our dinners on.
  12. Enter mean ranger.
    Not actually mean but didn't laugh at my multiple jokes.
  13. He kept talking about how we had to be a "half air mile" from the road. But didn't explain what that was?
    Basically just told us there was no such place in that canyon.
  14. He told us he'd fine us $680 if he found us there in the morning. I said, "Worth it!"
    He said, "😐"
  15. Then he took our names, phone numbers, dates of birth, and addresses.
    Did we just give all of our information to a creepo? Nah....?
  16. We collected everything back up and packed it all back down the mountain.
  17. I made sure to pick every wildflower in sight on the way out in revenge.
    That'll show 'em!
  18. At least I didn't have to go to the bathroom in the forest.