Men I've Dated
The list is short, but juicy. And probably explains why I haven't dated anyone in a while.
- •The saxophonistFirst boyfriend / best friend. Super sweet. Wrote me songs and played the saxophone in the background. Never learned I hate the saxophone. Hope he never reads this.
- •The creeperShoplifted sweatshirts for me from the place where he worked (I didn't know). Cheated on me with my housemate and got her pregnant. Has now been married 3+ times last I checked. Was on a talk show. My greatest shame, but also best party story.
- •The seemingly innocent oneSuper kind. Two months in I found out he had a girlfriend (!) in another state who was pregnant (!!) and just miscarried their child (!!!). I...kept dating him.
- •The bad guySmoker/drinker/surly. Once told me he didn't know if he loved me or hated me. We're all learning now that I was an idiot at 19. I still keep my distance when I see a black Jeep Wrangler.
- •The non-committal oneTook me on many dates (planned, paid for, paired off). While on these dates would say things like, "I'm so glad we're FRIENDS" and "You're such a good FRIEND". I named a paradox after him due to how many women fell in love with him because of his personality (and despite his appearance).
- •The dudeMostly long-distance. Checked all of the right boxes. I was painfully way more into him than he was into me. I still cringe when I see him.