Jobs I Have Had

"If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there"- George Harrison
  1. Actor
    I was an actor as a kid in Orlando in the 90's. I was on America's Most Wanted, a National Geographic show about getting a snake bite, a Jeep commercial, a sketch comedy show called "The Newz" and a few catalogues and textbooks. I was in the student films "Armageddon Lawn Party," "Life," "The Boogeyman's In My Closet," and "The Shadow." Some of these continue to haunt me.
  2. Sea World - Terrors of the Deep
    I mostly told people not to sit on the arm rest of the moving walkway in the shark tank.
  3. Walt Disney World - Magic Kingdom
    I sold ice cream during the day and did parade audience control at night for the Main Street Electrical Parade.
  4. Hard Rock Hotel - The Pool
    I started as a Pool Attendant and through hard work and treading water for five minutes, graduated to Lifeguard. I saved one child. I did not receive applause. I was asked for drugs by the late Billy Mays of Oxy Clean fame.
  5. Walt Disney World Dolphin - Valet
    Learned how to drive a stick.
  6. Evergreen Aviation
    I sorted mail overnight with ex cons.
  7. O-Rock 105.9 FM
    I was an Intern and then later part time promotions assistant. I got to go to a bunch of free concerts and met some 00's rock bands.
  8. Wine Down - Bartender/Server
    I was a bartender at a wine bar. I recommended wines to old men.
  9. Notary
    I printed loan applications and watched people sign them and then stamped papers. This was during my "I have no idea what to do with my life" phase.
  10. Clayton Hall
    I was the bass player in a band for most of college. I sometimes tried to sing but the microphone was usually taken away from me by the other band members. We lost the battle of the bands but were on Orlando radio and in the newspaper a few times. We played all over Orlando, Gainesville, Tallahassee, Tampa, etc. So fun.
  11. UCF Video Staff
    Shot football practices and occasional home games for the coaches. I proudly know very little about football.
  12. Matt Mackelcan Band
    After Clayton Hall broke up, I was hired to play bass in this band. We toured all over the southeast and opened for Rick Springfield, Edwin McCain, and Sister Hazel. We would alternate between playing at House of Blueses and Wild Wing Cafes.
  13. Pink Sneakers Productions
    Transcribed reality show raw footage of "Brooke Knows Best" the Hogan Knows Best spinoff and "My Big Redneck Wedding." Was an assistant to Tom Arnold and helped develop half a dozen pilots that were bad ideas and didn't get picked up.
  14. The Late Show with David Letterman
    I was a page. I helped people line up before the show and told them the rules about the taping. Got to make jokes to audiences, and see almost every show in 2009. That's right, I was in the theater when Joaquin Phoenix was acting super weird.
  15. Bored To Death
    I was an office PA. I learned about every job and every department on a TV show. The writers seemed like my type of people. "Don't try to do that, that's a hard paycheck to get," I was advised.
  16. Freelance Set PA
    Worked on a lot of cool movies and shows. Always wanted to sit down but never did. Most people on a film set don't want to be there, I think.
  17. 30 Rock
    Was an office PA for two seasons. Occasionally ordered Tina Fey's lunch. Answered phone calls from Alec Baldwin. Cleaned Tracy Morgan's dressing room. Played Jack Donaghy's Butler on camera. Wrote a webisode about Hazel the Page constantly getting fanmail intended for Kenneth. Finally figured out what I wanted to do in life. I wanted to write scripts the way these guys wrote scripts.
  18. Assistant to Steve Hely
    Worked for the great man during his overall deals at NBC and then Fox. Learned probably nine years of stuff in two years. Got to fulfill lifelong dream of driving a golf cart around a Hollywood backlot. Met interesting people from around the world.
  19. The Great Debates Podcast - Producer
    Helped Steve, Dave, and Dan get the show started and on the Internet. Figured out a lot along the way about what the show is, what we wanted to accomplish, and what makes an entertaining podcast. I get to pick the closing song for every episode! We've done almost eighty episodes now and a lot of people seem to enjoy it! Have met titans of industry through this podcast.
  20. American Dad - Writers' Assistant
    A TV writers' assistant job is probably one of the top five hardest jobs to get on planet Earth. After trying for five years, I finally succeeded. Have learned more about joke pitching, story structure, and Final Draft than I thought my brain could hold. I laugh hard every single day.