PRE-MEAL ACTIVITIES OTHER THAN BELIEVING IN "SIX IMPOSSIBLE THINGS BEFORE BREAKFAST"

  1. Cram four strollers into a utility closet before brunch.
  2. Ruin six hundred salads by adding Craisins.
  3. Stumble into nine pits of despair before any given afternoon coffee break.
  4. Contemplate murdering countless long-winded Best Men and Maids of Honor at wedding receptions.
  5. Disturb seventeen clients with a questionable joke about toddler erections before a business lunch.
  6. Mentally draft eleven favorable Yelp reviews just because the breadbasket included focaccia.
  7. Ingest seventeen items from tiny paper cups before exiting Trader Joe's.
  8. Believe in eleven impossible menu items at Guy Fieri's American Kitchen and Bar.