1. George Clooney's bodyguard once left me in charge of George Clooney. I don't know how to make this the top item on my resume so I'm making it the top item here.
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  2. I once won a literary spelling relay by spelling Bhagavad Gita correctly while balancing a book on my head. While drunk.
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  3. All I really want is to be wealthy enough to employ a butler to bring me snacks.
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